2007年10月26日星期五

You Know You've Lived in China Too Long When...

这是facebook上面的一个networks,名称就是题目。而介绍如下:
很有趣,我简单的翻译一下,不过大家可以先看一看google translate 的结果,后面的才是我草草翻译的

You Know You've Lived in China Too Long When...

1. You're at an expensive western restaurant and don't even notice the guy at the next table yelling into his cell phone
2. You enjoy karaoke
3. You walk backwards in the park listening to a transistor radio
4. The China Daily is your source for hard hitting, fast breaking, investigative journalism
5. You smoke in crowded elevators.
6. All white people look the same to you
7. You like the smell of the bus.
8. You find state-employed retail staff helpful, knowledgeable and friendly
9. You no longer need tissues to blow your nose
10. You find western toilets uncomfortable
11. You throw your used toilet paper in the basket (as a courtesy to the next person)
12. You think that the heavy air actually contains valuable nutrients that you need to stay healthy
13. You think a 30 year old woman who carries a Hello Kitty lunch box is cute
14. A sexual pervert is a man who prefers women to money.
15. It's OK to throw rubbish, including old fridges, from your 18th-floor window
16. You believe that pressing the lift button 63 times will make it move faster
17. You aren't aware that one is supposed to pay for software
18. You are not surprised to see your tap water run dark brown
19. You tell your parents their house back in your home country has bad feng shui
20. You think that a $7 shirt is a rip-off
21. You always leave tray and trash on the table when you are in Starbucks because you insisted it is the way to keep everyone employed
22. You buy an XXXL T-shirt in store when you returned home
23. You take large sum of cash whenever you go hospital in home country
24. You have no reservations about spitting sun flower seeds on the restaurant floor
25. You think it's silly to buy a new bike when it'll get stolen soon and stolen bikes are half the price.
26. You'd rather pay the 10 yuan for an all night stay at the internet cafe than the 30 for a taxi home.
27. You feel cheated if you don't receive a full head and shoulder massage when getting a haircut
28. You blow your nose or spit on the restaurant floor (of course after making a loud hocking noise)
29. You no longer wait in line, but go immediately to the head of the queue
30. It becomes exciting to see if you can get on the lift before anyone can get off
31. It is no longer surprising that the only decision made at a meeting is the time and venue for the next meeting
32. You no longer wonder how someone who earns US$ 400.00 per month can drive a Mercedes 33. You accept the fact that you have to queue to get a number for the next queue
34. You believe everything you read in the local newspaper
35. You have developed an uncontrollable urge to follow people carrying small flags
36. You regard it as part of the adventure when the waiter correctly repeats your order and the cook makes something completely different.
37. You are not surprised when three men with a ladder show up to change a light bulb
38. You look over people's shoulder to see what they are reading
39. You honk your horn at people because they are in your way as you drive down the sidewalk
40. When car accidents become a source of heartwarming humour
41. When shopping at Carrefour some laowai stares you down for catching you looking into his basket while you wonder to yourself what laowai's eat
42. You have figured out that it is actually the Taiwanese who are running this country
43. You have a pinky fingernail an inch long
44. You burp in any situation and don't care
45. You start to watch CCTV9 and feel warm and comforted by the governments great work
46. You think Pizza Hut is high-class and worth queueing for
47. You have learnt how to detect someone is in a hurry behind you, and now have the ability to not only walk very slowly but also grow eyes in the back of your head, so when they start to overtake on the right hand side, you automatically cut in and walk very slowly directly in front of them
48. When you are able to jump the queue because the idiot laowai left 2 centimeters between themself and the person in front of them
49. You have absolutely no sense of traffic rules
50. You start calling other foreigners Lao Wai
51. You start cutting off large vehicles on your bicycle
52. The last time you visited your mother, you gave her your business card
53. You think no car is complete without a tissue box on the rear shelf and a feather duster in the trunk
54. You go to the local shop in pajamas
55. When looking out the window, you think "Wow, so many trees!" instead of "Wow, so much concrete!"
56. Pollution, what pollution?
57. You think "white pills, blue pills, and pink powder" is an adequate answer to the question "What are you giving me, doctor?"
58. Someone doesn't stare at you and you wonder why
59. Firecrackers don't wake you up
60. Your family stops asking when you'll be coming back
61. You wear out your vehicle's horn before its brakes
62. You buy a top-of-the-line karaoke machine
63. Forks feel funny
64. Chinese remakes of Western songs sound better than the originals
65. You get homesick for Chinese food when away from China
66. You realize that smiling and nodding is Chinese body language for, "Go away; leave me alone."
67. All the top-level government officials you befriended for guanxi purposes when you first arrived are retired and living in your country
68. After being in an accident, you tell the ambulance driver which hospital to take you to
69. Your company offers you a job in your native land, and includes regular "Home Leave" to China as an incentive
70. You think of "salad" as diced apples in mayonnaise
71. You don't bother to take the sticker off the lenses of your fake Ray-Bans
72. You only wear a suit when you dig ditches or do home repairs
73. Your handshake is weakening by the day
74. You compiled a 3-page list of weird English first names that Chinese people of your acquaintance have chosen for themselves.
75. Your collection of business cards has outgrown your flat
76. You and a friend get on a bus, sit at opposite ends of the bus, and continue your conversation by yelling from one end to the other
77. You cannot say a number without making the appropriate hand sign
78. You like the taste of Green Tea and Chivas
79. You start recognising the chinese songs on the radio and sing along to them with the taxi driver
80. You feel insulted when you enter a restaurant and only three waiters welcome you

**I didn't make these up but saw them online. Brilliant all the same - got anymore!?**

以下为google translate 结果

你知道你已经在中国生活了太久的时候… …

1 。你是一个昂贵的西餐厅和甚至不通知对方在下次表喊话到他的手机
2 。你享受卡拉
3 。你走向后在公园里听到一晶体管收音机
4 。中国日报是你的来源硬打,快速突破,新闻调查
5 。你吸烟,在拥挤的电梯。
6 。所有白人的人看看,同时给你
7 。你喜欢的味道的巴士。
8 。你了解国家就业零售人员的帮助,知识化和友好
9 。您不再需要组织来打击你的鼻子
10 。你了解西方的厕所不舒服
11 。你用你的卫生纸在篮子里(作为一个礼节性,以在未来的人)
12 。你觉得沉重的空气其实包含了宝贵的营养素,你必须保持身体健康
13 。你认为一个30岁的老妇人带有你好小猫饭盒,是可爱的
14 。性贪赃枉法的是一个人宁愿妇女的钱。
15 。它的,可以扔垃圾,其中包括旧冰箱,从你的第18层的窗口
16 。你相信按下电梯按钮, 63倍,将使快
17 。你不知道,一个是用来支付软件
18 。你是不是惊讶地看到你的自来水来说深棕色
19 。你告诉你的父母,他们家早在你的家国已坏风水
20 。你觉得一个7元的衬衫是一个扯裂小康
21 。你总是离开托盘及垃圾桶放在桌上时,你是在星巴克,因为你坚持,它是这样,为了使每个人都能就业
22 。你买4xl上衣,在商店当您回家
23 。你需大笔现金时,你到医院在母国
24 。你有没有保留,随地吐痰,孙花卉种子,对餐厅地板
25 。你认为这是无聊的,以购买一辆新的自行车时,将得到很快被盗和被盗自行车是一半的价格。
26 。你宁愿支付10元一个晚上都留在网吧比30乘出租车回家。
27 。你被骗的感觉,如果你不领取全额头部及肩部按摩的时候越来越冲销
28 。你打击了你的鼻子或随地吐痰,对餐厅楼(当然在做了响亮hocking噪音)
29 。你不再需要等待,在路线,但到应立即向主管排队
30 。它变得令人兴奋地看到,如果你能得到关于解除之前,任何人都可以下车
31 。它不再是令人惊讶的是,只有所作的决定,开会是时间和地点为下次会议
32 。你不再怀疑有多少人赚得美国$ 400.00每月可以开宾士
33 。你接受一个事实,就是你要排队,使一批为下一队列
34 。你相信一切,你看,在本地报纸
35 。你已经研制出一种难以控制的冲动跟进的人携带小型国旗
36 。你把它作为部分的冒险当侍应生,正确地重复你的命令和库克使得一些完全不同。
37 。你不奇怪,当三名男子用梯子出要改变一个灯泡
38 。你看看人们的肩膀,看看它们是什么读
39 。你honk你在非洲之角的人,因为他们是用您的方式,因为你拉低人行道
40 。当车祸变成来源胸怀幽默
41 。购物时,在家乐福的一些老外stares你追赶你看他的篮子里,而你不知道你自己有什么老外的吃
42 。你想通了,它其实是台湾人正在运行这个国家
43 。你有一个小手指指甲有一寸长
44 。你猜在任何情况下,并没有照顾
45 。你开始看汛感受到温暖和安慰的,由各国政府的伟大工程
46 。你觉得必胜客是高阶层和价值,为排队
47 。你已经学会了如何发现有人如此急于在你身后,现在有能力,不只是要步行很慢,但也是增长的眼睛在后面的你的头上,因此,当他们开始超车右手边,你会自动削减和走路很慢,直接摆在他们面前的
48 。当你能插队,因为白痴老外左2厘米之间themself和有关的人摆在他们面前的
49 。你绝对没有任何意义上的交通规则
50 。你开始呼吁其他外国人老挝围
51 。你首先切断大型车辆对你的自行车
52 。你们上一次访问了你的母亲,你给了她你的名片
53 。你认为没有车,是不完整的纸巾盒就后方大陆架和鸿毛除尘器在躯干
54 。你到当地的商店在睡衣
55 。当寻找出窗外,你觉得"哇,这么多树" !而不是"哇,这么多具体的" !
56 。污染,有什么污染?
57 。你认为"白药丸,蓝色药丸,粉红色粉末"是一个适当的回答"什么是你给我,医生" ?
58 。有人不盯着你,你想知道为什么
59 。爆竹不悬崖勒马,你
60 。你的家人站询问时,你会赶回来
61 。你穿了你的车的喇叭前制动器
62 。你买顶级版-在线卡拉机
63 。叉子觉得好笑
64 。中国remakes西方歌曲,声音较正本
65 。你想家,为中国食品时,远离中国
66 。你知道,微笑和点头,是中国人的肢体语言, "走;离开了我。 "
67 。所有的高层政府官员,你朋友,为广西的宗旨,当你第一次来到已经退休,住在贵国
68 。之后,在偶然的,你告诉救护车司机,其中医院,带你到
69 。你的公司为您提供一份工作,在你的故土,并包括经常性的"探亲假" ,以中国作为奖励
70 。你认为的"沙拉"分块苹果在蛋黄酱
71 。你甭管采取贴纸小康隐形眼镜你的假射线禁令
72 。你只能穿西装,当你挖壕沟或做家居维修
73 。你握手,正日益减弱一天
74 。你汇编了三页的名单上的怪异英文名字说,中国人民对您的熟人选择符合自己。
75 。您收集的名片上已超越你的单位
76 。你和一个朋友上一辆巴士,坐在对面的两端巴士,并继续你们的谈话中,由喊话,从一端到另一
77 。你不能说一些没有作出适当的手签署
78 。你喜欢的味道,绿茶和瓜达拉哈拉
79 。你开始明白,中国歌曲的电台和唱歌一直到他们与的士司机
80 。你感到受辱时,你进入一个餐厅只有三个伙计欢迎你

**我并没有使这些了,但看到网上。辉煌都一样-得到了! ? * *


一下为简单修正结果(我没有太多时间,非常粗糙啦)

如果 ,你已经在中国生活了太久!(半命题作文,哈哈,如果你觉的这个很正常的话,那么……)

1
。你在一家昂贵的西餐厅里,根本注意不到邻桌的人对着他的手机大喊
2
。你喜爱卡拉OK
3
。你在公园里后退走听半导体
4
。?The China Daily is your source for hard hitting, fast breaking, investigative journalism
5
。你在拥挤的电梯里吸烟
6
。所有白人的在你看来都一样
7
。你喜欢巴士的气味
8
。你发现美国的国家雇员竟然很有知识,很友好
9
。你不需要棉纸来擤鼻涕
10
。你觉得西方的厕所(坐便)不舒服
11
。你把用过的厕纸扔在篮子里,并不觉得是对下一个人的失礼
12
。你觉得重空气其实包含了保持身体健康宝贵的营养素
13
。你认为一个30岁的老妇人带有Hello Kitty的饭盒很可爱
14 。喜欢女人更甚于钱是不正常的性取向
15
。可以扔垃圾,包括扔旧冰箱、从18层的窗口扔
16
。你相信按电梯按钮 63次,能是它更快
17
。你不知道应该为使用软件付钱
18
。你不惊讶于看到自来水是深棕色
19
。你告诉父母,他们家乡的房子风水不好。
20
。你觉得一个7块钱的衬衫是冒牌货
21 。在星巴克,你离开时把托盘及垃圾放在桌上,因为你坚持,这样可以使每个人都能就业
22
。当你回国后,你会买XXXLT
23
。回国后,你到医院需大笔现金时,
24
。你在饭店里毫不介意的把瓜子皮扔在地上
25
。你认为用赃车两倍的价钱买一辆很快就会丢的新自行车很傻
26
。你宁愿支付10元在网吧过夜,也不愿花30乘出租车回家
27
。在理发时,如果你没有得到头部及肩部按摩你会觉得受骗
28
。你随地擤鼻涕,吐痰(而且显然是在发出了很大的声音之后)
29
。插队
30 。别人还没有下电梯时就冲进去
31
。你习惯于开会后唯一决定了的就是,下次开会的时间和地点
32 。你不觉得一个每月赚 400.00 美的人开宾士很奇怪。
33
。你接受一个事实,就是你要排队,是为了得到下一个队的排队号。
34
。你相信一切本地报纸上说的任何事情
35
。你有一种难以控制的冲动去跟着举着小型国旗人群。
36
。你把它作为冒险的一部分就是,侍应生正确地重复你的点菜单,但是上的菜却完全不同
37
。你不奇怪:当三名男子和一把梯子出现在你的面前,要换一个灯泡
38
。你从人家背后看人家在看什么。
39
。你从把车开出人行道时向挡在前面的人鸣笛。
40
。当车祸变成了感人的笑料。
41
。购物时,在家乐福的一些老外会生气的盯着你,因为你盯着他们的篮子看老外会吃什么。
42
。你明白了,其实是台湾人正在运行这个国家
43
。你有一个小手指指甲有一寸长
44
。你在任何情况下,没有顾及的打嗝
45
。你开始看cctv9,感受着政府的伟大举动带来的温暖和安慰
46
。你觉得必胜客是一流的餐馆,值得排队
47
。你已经学会了如何发现有在你身后疾走,现在有了这样的能力,不只是步行的很慢,而且脑后长眼睛,因此,当他们开始从右边超过你时,你会立即切到右边,挡在他们面前非常慢的走
48
。当老外很白痴的在他和前一个人之间空出了2厘米时你可以插队进去
49
。你没有任何交通规则观念
50
。你开始叫外国人 "老外"
51
。你骑自行车却能挡骑车
52
。上一次看你母亲的时候,你给了她你的名片
53
。你觉得后架上没有面巾纸盒和鸡毛掸子的车是不完整的。
54
。你穿睡衣逛街。
55
。看窗外,你会惊呼"哇,这么多树" !而不是 "哇,这么多混凝土的"
56
。污染,啥污染?
57
。你认为"白药丸,蓝色药丸,粉红色粉末"是一个适当的回答,当你问医生,你给我的是么 ?”
58
。有人不盯着你,你想知道为什么
59
。爆竹声不会吵醒你
60
。你的家不会问你什么时候回来
61
。你先用坏了车的喇叭而不是刹车
62
。你买顶级卡拉OK机
63
。餐叉很好笑
64
。中国翻唱的西方歌曲更好听
65
。当远离中国时,你因为中国食品想家
66
。你知道,微笑和点头,是中国人的肢体语言: "走开,让我自己呆着 "
67
。当你退休时,你为了"关系"已经和所有的高层官员称为你朋友
68
。事故之后,你告诉救护车司机带你到哪家医院
69
。你的公司为你在当地提供一份工作,并包括经常性的"探亲假" ,作为奖励
70
。你认为的"沙拉"是小块苹果拌蛋黄酱
71
。你懒得取下假货上面的标签。
72 。当你挖壕沟或做家居维修时也只穿西装。
73 。你握手,一天比一天轻
74
。你收集了三页的诡异的英文名字,那些都是你的熟人给自己选的。
75
。您收集的名片上已塞满了房间
76
。你和一个朋友上一辆巴士,坐在车头和车尾,但你们用喊话来继续你们的谈话
77
。你不能说出没有作出标记的号码
78
。你喜欢的味道:绿茶兑Chivas
79
。你从电台听到中国歌曲并且和出租车司机一起唱。
80 。当你进入一个餐厅只有三个伙计欢迎你时你会觉得羞辱

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